SATIRE: Le’Veon Bell Threatens to Sit Out, Retire from Rap Game if Mixtape Doesn’t Reach 17M Listens on SoundCloud

By: Oscar Rzodkiewicz, @ORzodkiewicz

While his contract negotiations with the Pittsburgh Steelers have been tabled until a later date, All-Pro RB Le’Veon Bell’s music career may also be stalling after a recent threat to his listeners on SoundCloud of retirement from rapping.

“I should be getting recognized like a musician and an entertainer,” Bell said. “Just look at the stats. If Shaq and Deion Sanders got that kind of attention for their music, I should be too.”

The home of many underachieving rap artists, SoundCloud, brought back Bell on a new short-term deal, ensuring his profile would receive the most marketing from the site in 2018, but Bell says he will step away from his “Juice” alias if he does not hit the 17 million listen threshold on his next project.

After hearing of his possible end with the music industry, Vince McMahon of the WWE reached out to Bell asking if Bell would interested in a contract as a villain in the ring, but he declined the offer.

“People just need to start recognizing what I’m doing in the studio, and then maybe they’ll understand,” Bell said.

Bell’s next mixtape, “Working Out in My Basement,” will debut on April 20, 2018.

The above article is a satire piece created solely and completely for comical purposes. The statements and quotes written in the article are both false and unreal, and neither should be attributed as fact.


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